Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings


It's like an Inbred Cannibal bonanza up in here!!!  Who would have thought I would be so lucky to watch so many Inbred Cannibal films in so short a time.  First it was The Offspring.  Then, last night, I caught the last 20 minutes of Wrong Turn on HBO.  That prompted me to run right out and rent Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings.   Initially I was a bit worried because I don't think I have seen Wrong Turn 3.  Then I figured that at this point it really doesn't matter.  They are all the same movie and they are all wonderful to my eyes...




 WT4, as it shall henceforth be known, is a prequel.  We are introduced to the nasty inbred brothers Three Fingers, One Eye, and Saw Tooth.  They are locked away in a Sanatorium for nasty Inbred Cannibals.  I have always had a soft spot in my heart for Three Fingers, even more so now that I have learned that he cut off and ate his own fingers, hence the nickname.  The brothers break out of the Sanatorium and kill the shit out of everyone there.  I mean, they really kill the shit out them.  Take a look.......



Cut to a few years later.  A bunch of idiotic College students are planning a weekend getaway at some remote cabin in the woods.   They get lost on while riding their awesome snowmobiles and end up at the abandoned.............Sanatorium!!  Which you just know those nasty Inbred Cannibal brothers still live at!  Yes, these College idiots are going to get the shit killed out of them! 




Watching this film I found myself thinking that it may be the best comedy of the year!  The kids are so stupid!  They repeatedly make the horror film mistakes of splitting up and having sex.  Each and everyone of them are assholes and I was really rooting for the cannibals throughout.  The kills are super over the top and the ending had me rolling on the floor laughing.  Good times all around. 

I may have to take a break from this genre for a while.  I don't think it's healthy to watch too many Inbred Cannibal films at once.  I once read a book about real life cannibals and I didn't feel right for a long time.  My Dad made the astute observation that I probably like this genre because Inbred Cannibals are so close to Zombies.  That may be right but I will always choose Zombies.  Zombies are so much sweeter.



2 comments:

Dwido said...

Fresh skin slice fondue: cannibal hor d'oeuvres, just a brillant touch.
Of note, too, the barbed wire slow motion tumbling beheading of the always screaming lead ladies. But really, still just a B- slashed flick!

Polecat said...

Wow, yeah, i adore Three Fingers too! And no one's missing much of anything by not watching Wrong Turn 3; it was a seriously low budget movie.